Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Who Am I ?

A quest in search of life’s true meaning
Plunging into my thoughts again, I meditated over one of the many unanswered questions within me, seeking to move closer to the answer– who am I? Although appearing to be fairly abstract at first, I knew that it had an answer, and was determined to locate it. I did not know how to begin my quest, for I knew I had a undertaken a staggering task- in my time of relaxation- nevertheless, plodding slowly deep into myself, I realized that the question was brought up to the surface simply due to a lack of self-confidence. I had considered myself below par for too long now. Always finding voids in my life, never looking at the many points of superiority that were contained within me- restrained- because I had lacked the common sense to explore my virtues. Always thinking that I could not live up to the expectations of my peers. Always behaving like the lesser person. Always looking for a purpose in life, when there was really no need to. I have always looked at what I have achieved, and found it to be dwarfed-out by what others had achieved. Not looking at the quality of my work, not at what I could have achieved, not what I am built for. In fact, my views of myself fell just short of pity. Though not completely, I have regained some hope. I was not meant to be a face in the crowd, but my negativity drew me into being one. I am not small, I think small, something that could be easily rectified. Coming back to the question, I realized that I may not need an answer at all. Though purpose-defeating, this was truly the equivalent of enlightenment.

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