Showing posts with label msrit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label msrit. Show all posts

Thursday, March 8, 2012

Friday

I looked at my watch. It was 10:30. Twenty more minutes left for the class to end. An eternity, more like. I tried to strain my eyes on the board, barely able to make out half the words. I had absolutely no idea what class was going on. I wasn’t sure whether anyone else in the classroom did, either.

Unable to concentrate any further, I drowsily turned to look outside the window. Through the corner of my eye I caught a faint glimpse of a handful of bees buzzing around in circles. A little further off into the distance, there seemed to be some construction work going on. There always was.

And then I looked down at the sheet of paper lying in front of me.

Blank.

No, wait. There was small circle drawn somewhere in the corner, with the letters ‘MC’ scrawled untidily in it. I was supposed to hand in my article for 19a by the end of the day. This was the plot, and all I’d come up with so far was that it would have a ‘main character’ in it. Brilliant.

Suddenly, Neha turned to tell me something. “Oye-lucky-lucky-oye is a palindrome.”

“What?!,” I asked, taken aback. And everyone around us burst into muffled laughter. I smiled, too. A much needed break from the monotony.

Rajiv glanced at the piece of paper, too. “Wassup, homie?,” he said, “Still no luck with the plot, eh? You know what? You should go out, man. Get some inseparation,” he said.

“Inspiration,” I corrected him.

“Oh, yeah. Sorry. Technical mistake,” he quickly replied.

Seeing as I desperately needed to get away from the class anyway, the moment the period ended, I walked out with the two of them in tow.

Once outside, I noticed that the place wasn’t bustling with much activity, for some reason. A friend of mine was deeply engrossed in a copy of Moscow Vector. And another handed me some notes. 'Kulla' (shorty), she called out to Rajiv. They spoke for a bit as I looked around the place. That was about it.

I suddenly remembered that I had to meet someone in the post office regarding a cash transaction.

“Is his name Mani?” Rajiv asked, “Coz then you can just do Mani-transfer. Get it? Money transfer?” He winked at me and both of them started giggling. I dropped my pencil and face-palmed myself in frustration, but gave in to the laughter eventually.

“Or, if his name is Deepu, we could ask him to Deepu-sit the money. Get it? Deposit?” I said, as my face lit up.

“You’re stupid, or what? If you want to deposit something then why do you need another guy? You can do it yourself,” Rajiv countered. And then he and Neha broke off into boisterous peals of laughter. I smiled slowly, accepting defeat.

As we walked further, we saw a mangled heap of metal that was the remains of a BMW-sedan and a REVA. The irony. I could hear the sirens of a cop-car echoing far away. In the adjacent lane, a few people were painting the sidewalk, and Neha went over to help them. I wanted to lend a hand, too, but couldn’t, as I had a bunch of things to do.

Upon reaching the post office, I received a text message. I frowned as soon as I finished reading it. I had to get back to college urgently. Rats. I frantically looked around for the man in question, finished off the work, and hastily bid Rajiv goodbye. He had some business of his own to take care of.

“Come online at 5,” he said while leaving.

“Sure,” I smiled, and turned to leave. The walk back was largely uneventful, save for an airplane momentarily screaming overhead. As I entered college, I was lost in thought about the article when—

*Thud*

Something hard hit my head from behind. I turned around in irritation to see what had caused it. But the moment I saw what it was, my anger evaporated, along with the sharp pain.

“What’s up?,” a voice spoke, cheerfully. It was Shalini. She had hit me with a book to catch my attention. “I thought you were in the post office? Then how did you come back so fas—”

“Speed post,” I interrupted.

“Oh, right,” she said, trying to suppress a snigger, “Should have expected that from a nerd like you.”

“Hey! Don’t call me that!”, I snapped.

“Nerd.”

“Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Although, don’t actually try that, by the way. I’m really afraid of stones.”

“Really?! How come?” she inquired.

“Well, I had this dream once. It was a dark and stormy night. I was stealthily shooting some guards from a distance, when suddenly, alarms started going off everywhere. I ran up the stairs as quickly as I could to get cover, but on the top floor, there was a huge evil-robot that seemed to be bent on killing me. So I ran down again. On my way down, I slipped and fell, because my shoelaces were untied. So I threw them away, and bought a pair of chappals from a nearby shop. Just then, I saw a friend who had a bike, and we tried to get away, but his bike wouldn’t start. The next moment, I was at the top of the Malaysian twin towers, and I lost my footing and plunged downwards. When I woke up, my pillow was gone,” I rattled off effortlessly.

Shalini was at a loss for words for a few seconds. Finally, she spoke. “But you didn’t mention stones even once,” she said.

“Yeah, that’s because I’m claustrophobic,” I explained.

“What?!?! B-But that’s not even—” and then she stopped. “Ok, you win. By the way, sometimes I think that people live in their dreams for too long. Wake up.”

And just like that, I began wondering how life was all about dreams. Some people dream of being great writers, musicians, actors, among others, but how many of those dreams really get fulfilled? How many live in their dreams as a means of getting away from despair, and how many change their dreams into reality. About how much talent goes unnoticed. And then I remembered a verse from a poem by Thomas Gray—

‘Full many a gem of purest ray serene
The dark unfathom'd caves of ocean bear:
Full many a flower is born to blush unseen,
And waste its sweetness on the desert air’

“Wake up,” she said again. Although this time her voice seemed different.

“Huh?” I mumbled.

“Class over. Let’s go, sleepyhead,” the new voice spoke again.

I rubbed my eyes and tried to focus. I was back in the classroom again. Evidently, I had dozed off. As I slowly tried to regain consciousness, the events that had recently unfolded played back in my head.

And then I looked down at the sheet of paper lying in front of me. There was small circle drawn somewhere in the corner, with the letters ‘MC’ scrawled untidily in it.

Sigh. Time to make a start...

Thursday, December 30, 2010

Thanks, R

Learn. Grow. Smile. Even in your lowest lows. Someone's always with you. Laugh at yourself. Appreciate being foolish. Wise up. Smile. Cry. Pride. Humility. Hope. The Bright side. Pessimism. Put others before yourself. Feel hurt. Keep at it. Celebrate. Share. Learn. Teach. It's never too late. Explore the new. Yet, never forget the old. Make new friends. Regain lost ones. Win. Lose. Music. Books. Movies. Fear. Anxiety. Success. Failure. Poetry. Lend a hand. Touch. Feel. Reach out. Fall back. Fight. Fall. Get up. Start over.

Tag

Frost | Pro | Loose | Tikaaa | Kk 82 | It's beautiful | Pro3 | Pavi | That will also evaporate | Jootay | Pakdo | J-Man | Younix? | P | Lefty | Cya | -273.15 K | Sanchali | indiBlogger | Psynite | Wisecrack | Hot pink & bright orange | r^3 | P=S | PN | 1471 | Z | 9.96 | Cows | Mission: Aloo Paratha | Shoelace | Guitarboy | Tu/Se | IBM | Gatterman | Thund3rstruck | Suru | Jack | D | RapidB | Chikapps | Undocumented functions | Shred masterclass | Breakfast | 99 | Rash | 4th std | Dr. MW | P8 | Warrior

[Ordering is random. In case you don't find yourself, ask. I'll tell you which one you are]

Friday, December 24, 2010

Design Patterns Explained

History

(3000 B.C.) When people first started wearing clothes, they realised that it was not really comfortable. So they tried various designers until one of them (Armani or Versace. I forgot) came up with the idea of using softer fabrics. He decided to call the stuff soft-wear. But due to copyright issues, he had to change the name to software. (Another theory is that people could not figure out which part of the fabric was soft. So they normally said, "Soft? Where?". But question mark was an illegal character, and DOS accepted only 8-letters. So the name 'software' stuck on).

There was fierce competition in the market as more and more 'designs' came out with every fashion week. Soon people realised that they could take whatever was common from other designers' creations, and 'patterns' began to emerge. It was easy to see that this development was seminal for all future work in the field of Software Design Patterns, as we use it till today.

In an effort to create much needed awareness in this field, I have created a condensed list of common patterns in the software world, complete with how to avoid common mistakes, a look at the class diagram, the type of pattern, and a brief description of each pattern. Expert tips and relevant links for further reading have also been included.

Adapter

Not to be confused with - Adopter

Class diagram -

Type - AC-to-DC

Description - In those days, the concept of electricity was not taught very well in school. So there were a lot of voltage fluctuations. In a spark of genius, one of the interns came up with the idea of using an adapter to partially stabilize the current. The designer resisted a lot, but finally gave in. This led to electrifying results. And it shocked nearly everyone in the audience. A great pattern for any occasion.

(See also - Angelina Jolie)

Bridge

Not to be confused with - Fridge

Class diagram -
Type - Suspension

Description - It was one of those times when looming deadlines decided what came into vogue. The designer was already knee-deep in trouble. Having only 4 days to come up with something big, he decided to bridge the gap between modern and contemporary. (At that time, the two were different, duh). As fate would have it, it turned out swimmingly. In fact, he achieved mouth-watering results. A great pattern to have in any designer's toolkit.

(See also - River)

Command

Not to be confused with - Commode

Class diagram -
Type - Hygienic

Description - There was a change in management, and the new boss was unfamiliar with GUI. (In fact, he was quite noob with the command line as well, but still..) In any case, he wanted to obtain a commanding position in the market. So he called his employees and told them to be extra-efficient and also ensured that no one was slacking off. The result -- inch-prefect cuts and immaculate stitches. But as everyone was over-efficient, they displayed the creations 3 days before the actual fashion event. And nobody showed up. So they had to change management again. (Note- this pattern is actually a misnomer. Just telling)

(See also - Control, Alt, Delete)

(Abstract) Factory

Not to be confused with - An actual factory

Class diagram -
Type - Expensive

Description - 'Twas the age of getting artistic with everything. A mini-renaissance was in place, as people began to diversify into those who truly appreciated art, and those who were not fatheads. Obviously, though, the former group took over managerial posts. And tried to explain in vague terms to the designers how the designs should be 'abstractly ephemeral' but not 'amorphously evanescent'. (Whatever that meant). In the mean time, a smart programmer wrote a piece of code that used random numbers to mass-produce weird shapes and print them. The managers were impressed, for apparently, that was exactly what they had in mind. This method has ever since been known as the abstract factory. A must-have if you find yourself being managed by people with an IQ of zero (or less).

(See also - M. F. Hussain)

Flyweight

Not to be confused with - Mosquito-weight

Class diagram -
Type - Insectoid

Description - It was one of those bad days for the fashion industry. A model was walking on the ramp when a fly happened to land on her shoulder. Now mathematically, weight_of_fly >> weight_of_model. (Hope you understand the gravity of the situation) The result? Wardrobe malfunction. Since then, it has been made mandatory to make clothes that can withstand a minimum amount of weight, also known as flyweight. This had the masses protest, but it was a necessary thing to do. A great pattern for the whole family.

(See also - Fly wait)

Observer

Not to be confused with - Webserver

Class diagram -

Type - Class II Evil

Description - When you have competitors in the market, it is imperative to keep a watch on every aspect of the industry. Even a small thing unnoticed can cost the company. Especially spies. The famous spy, Chloro-fluoro-carbon Bond, was hired by a fashion label to spy on the market leader. In 3 days' time, he came back with full details on the next batch of designs. Having spent very little on R&D, the company rolled out the same designs with exquisitely crafted fabric. Thus, managing to wipe out all competition. Since then nearly all companies have started planting 'observers' in their rivals' company. A crucial pattern. Don't stay home without it.

(See also - Observant, Obmaid)

Proxy

Not to be confused with - Frock-C

Class diagram -
Type - Representative

Description - Since most of his time was spent in the studio, it was very difficult for him to maintain attendance in class. So this designer did what any student in his place would do. He asked his friends to 'give proxy'. The perfect blend of smart students and dumb professors ensured that he never had to go to college again. What's more, he could focus solely on fashion design. And produced the best of his work in that period. At present, this is one of those patterns that you just cannot afford to miss out on.

(See also - Prox A, Prox B)

State

Not to be confused with - Union Territory

Class diagram -
Type - Geographic

Description - When faced with the equivalent of a writers' block, one of the designers decided to travel the country in search of inspiration. He travelled many places, trying to imbibe the characteristic qualities of each region. When he got back, he was in a woozy state of mind. In a press statement, he said that he would do something that was never done before. So he categorized all the places he had visited into various states. And made a design on each one of them. Lucky for him, it clicked. Moral of the story? None at all. Still, you just have to have this pattern.

(See also - City, Country)

Template

Not to be confused with - Temspoon

Class diagram -
Type - Culinary

Description - No matter how hard you try, you just always end up arriving a few minutes late. This was the story of an intern who's only problem was just that. But he tried to make up for it by putting in extra effort in everything he did. On the verge of losing his job, he decided to create something that would be so unbelievably good, that he would get instant promotion. Hard-work and diligence paid off. And he got just what he expected -- the Lead Designer's post. Since then, this has been a timeless classic. A pattern that could come in handy in the most untimely moments.

(See also - Temp-ontime, Regular-late)

(Note - If you didn't get the last line for each pattern's description, try to get hold of a copy of Café Coffee Day's gift brochure)

Monday, September 10, 2007

Day One

Weird is not the word

It's 9:10. Ok, so I'm ten minutes late. Not bad, but the problem is that I got off on the wrong gate (on purpose), and it's another 10 minutes' walk to my classroom.

Time to make a start.

A few cars whiz by. I look at my reflection in a car's window - my hair has been cropped to a height numerically equal to the annual rainfall of the Sahara Desert... Yeah, it was a brainy move to have a haircut one day before college began. A little too brainy.

Finally reach the place. First up- Physics lab (aka PHY-102). For 4 hours. Cool.

Made it to the lab. Know nobody here. Spot a pretty face. Would like to know more about her.

We were divided into 4 groups, each with a different professor. And I suppose I got the worst Prof. "Open your lab manuals." Oops, glanced across to the guy on the next table. "Yes?". Oh, you meant me, too, is it? I hurriedly open the book.

TRANSISTORS.
Bad. The one topic I could confidently say I was terrible at. I have a blank face for the next two hours, as the guy next to me rattles stuff like Collector/Base Junction and what not in a duh---isn't-that-obvious-you-ignorant-fools sort of way. I knew I was no good at studies- he didn't have to rub it in.

Then some guys show up. I turn around to see them, and-
"Yes, What's your problem?" ...Oh, crap, not again.

And then a tea break. I didn't know we had one. It was a much-needed break. I didn't eat anything, though.

The classes continued, and so did the surreal day. We now had 2 hours of some guy speaking Lola Kutty style- I couldn't understand a word, even though he was teaching basic stuff.

Post-lunch, it wasn't much better. The Math guy forced us to take down notes. No one came in the CS class, and the less said about EE, the better.

Some drunk guy came into the class, and started saying utter rubbish, intermittently burping and closing his eyes tightly. It took me about 10 seconds to realise that he may be some final year student looking for a laugh, and just bent on making us change to EEE.

Here are a few quotes supporting my claim :

"It took me three years to understand what I teach you today."

"CS and IS is nothing, you just need to know what for loop is."

"I used to teach CS for M. Tech. students, but now teach EE for 1st year."

"SI is System International something. It makes MKS and CGS units, and that is why we have live, neutral and earthing wires, which have to be concealed in the walls."

And that just about sums it up.