Who Am I ?

A quest in search of life’s true meaning

Plunging into my thoughts again, I meditated over one of the many unanswered questions within me, seeking to move closer to the answer– who am I? Although appearing to be fairly abstract at first, I knew that it had an answer, and was determined to locate it. I did not know how to begin my quest, for I knew I had a undertaken a staggering task- in my time of relaxation- nevertheless, plodding slowly deep into myself, I realized that the question was brought up to the surface simply due to a lack of self-confidence. I had considered myself below par for too long now. Always finding voids in my life, never looking at the many points of superiority that were contained within me- restrained- because I had lacked the common sense to explore my virtues. Always thinking that I could not live up to the expectations of my peers. Always behaving like the lesser person. Always looking for a purpose in life, when there was really no need to. I have always looked at what I have achieved, and found it to be dwarfed-out by what others had achieved. Not looking at the quality of my work, not at what I could have achieved, not what I am built for. In fact, my views of myself fell just short of pity. Though not completely, I have regained some hope. I was not meant to be a face in the crowd, but my negativity drew me into being one. I am not small, I think small, something that could be easily rectified. Coming back to the question, I realized that I may not need an answer at all. Though purpose-defeating, this was truly the equivalent of enlightenment.

Just Do It

Its way to redundant now.

Planning to do this or planning to complete that, and then delving into the illusion of failure on being unable to complete what you had thought would work out just fine. And then, the ray of hope that it isn't too late, the next day is just as good to start what you had aimed to do, only one day is lost. Its not like your life depended on those meagre 24 hours. And repeating the whole process all over again.

The secret to success is simple. When you decide to do something, instead of all the planning and hoping and cribbing and regret... just do it. Don't rely on the future to help you out. The time you have right now... utilize it. You may regret not having done more than what you have done, but something is better than nothing. The moment you decide to do something, sit and work, forgetting about the outcome or benefits, but living as if your life depended on it. But in any scenario, don't give up. Your delayed action may cost you, but it will be a million times more worthwhile than just giving up on it altogether in disappointment.

Fraternity

As we grow, we learn to adapt to our surroundings, we learn to behave in ways that others feel appropriate. In fact, a person is completely defined by his environment. The circumstances he/she lives in has complete control over the shape of the future. If I grow up with friends who like a particular genre of music, I will develop a liking for the same kind of music. If I spend time with a person who dislikes music (its hard to see why, but anyway) I will begin to show dislike for the same. You have virtually no control over your life, unless you decide to stay away from your friends, and become more of an introvert.

But no matter what path you take, what attitude you have, how fun-loving you are, and how strong you are in mind and body, it all boils down to this- you are a human being. Great realization dawneth upon us... you may think, but actually, it is hard to see that everyone around you is a human being, just like you. Every person around you has the same feelings of joy, sorrow, embarrassment, the same hunger for care, for a comforting arm, for support, the same crave for music, for entertainment. The person next to you is, in fact, exactly the same as you.

And the moment you realise this, your relationship with that person takes a whole new level.

Envy

"The grass is greener on the other side"

... or so it seems. We often like to get what we do not have. We always feel the 'his' is better than 'mine'. We tend to under-estimate the capabilities of what we have, and sometimes.... what we are. Everyone does. It takes a lot of self-confidence to feel good about yourself. To appreciate yourself and your capabilities. I have always under-estimated myself (and still do) but I am constantly striving to avoid it (I think) . It helps to see a worse-(not worst)-case scenario. We must learn to appreciate the minor things in life... those that lay forgotten under the heaps of materialistics wants. There is a lot more in life than is apparent. And self-appreciation is crucial in life.

There is is just no point in life otherwise.

Success

Yesterday I read something that made me think differently :

" A man who fails well is better than a man who succeeds badly "

...often we stop realising what our ultimate aim is. What our goals in life are. Everyone strives for success. Everyone wants to top in his exams..why? Everyone wants a promotion.. why? Everyone wants more money, and I ask you the same question again.. WHY ? Does that give you something ? If it does, good for you. But most of us will not have an answer to any of the above questions (even I don't) . So think for a while what you current short-term goal is... and then ask yourself "Why am I pursuing it ?" If you can answer yourself in a few seconds... do accomplish your goal. If you can't, stop for a while, and find out what the answer is. If you still can't, then you should reconsider the task at hand. If you can, only then you will truly strive to achieve it.

Evolve +

When you enter this world, you know absolutely nothing that you should not, and nothing less than what you need to know. Your parents are your primary beacons of light (this term just does not do justice to them), your strongest foundation in this world. You choose to follow what they say till you can go to school. That's where you meet your secondary beacons, teachers. Teachers have a lot of impact on our lives, though we may not realise presently. You can proceed with what they say, or what your friends do. Both paths could either eventually converge, or not. But it is those that carve their own paths that we should aim to become. If you don't, all is not lost. True, you do come across ups and downs, but those are temporary, the bigger picture is that you are learning as you grow. Often we regret being alive, but we should realise that only through such sates of depression and agony do we appreciate our otherwise ordinary past. Or at least incubate new ideas for the future. We need to look for support from friends and family. Sometimes we need to sink in deep thought and reflect upon loneliness as well... it is part of life.( I could explain in terms of maxima and minima... frankly, I'd rather not !)

But there is a time in everyone's life that you realise that you have matured enough to take your own decisions ( either that, or you know that there is no other option, this path is actually better). I call that stage as evolving ...... from an ignorant fool to the most intelligent person you can think of. It is when this happens that you actually agree that you can't ask for anything more in life....