Wednesday, January 31, 2007

Vaguely Obfuscated

Assuming for a moment that the arrow of time was somehow reversed, it would be possible for us to ‘remember’ the future, and predict the past. Although a fairly ambiguous phenomenon, if achieved, it would magnify the infinistic probability that a perpetual motion machine be created, for, by applying the above principle, it could easily be proved that force is just a hypothetical form of light, which has nearly infinite existence, rendering it easy to create a backward flow of energy from the system, into the surrounding, causing a chain reaction that would negate all theories of the four laws of thermodynamics, possibly increasing the curvature of space-time by about 0.0637 %. This could have many major impacts on how we perceive things in this era.

Consequently, people around the world will be astounded to realize that it would be possible- contrary to current belief, that has stood the test of time for eons- to create robots with self-developing A.I. , assimilating and compiling data from across the globe via smaller ‘friend’ circles among other similar robots, creating extremely useful bots in the near future. Another impact of the above observation would be the reversal of all stock market trading strategies, for investors would already know the stock prices of the past, which would, under this context, translate to the future, leading to heavy loss for companies, resulting in a major stock slump.

Unfortunately, a larger problem lies ahead, for sources have confirmed that unfair advantage could easily be taken of the afore mentioned fact, in the form of what experts call the Extractor Beam. It combines the features of Einstein’s special theory of Relativity, with the added dimension of Newtonian mathematics, culminating in the creation of a beam that can be used to extract information from the gray matter of brain cells of innocent civilians, and using the generated raw power to create a power surge, in turn causing the wipe-out of all data from the Internet, using advanced Quincunx technology, that helps focus energy to achieve amplifications of up to five times the input energy.

This has greatly hampered further progress. It is for the prevention of the precipitation such a scenario that the research work of all data in this field has been suspended indefinitely, until a safer alternative is hit upon. Until then, we can safely be oblivious of such revolutionary technology.

The above article is an excerpt from the research papers ‘Die A Technical Deth’, purely the work of Frost Byte, with inputs from Stephen Hawking, protected by copyright (B-8074-067). Any illegal copies made of the above material is punishable by applicable law

Who Am I ?

A quest in search of life’s true meaning
Plunging into my thoughts again, I meditated over one of the many unanswered questions within me, seeking to move closer to the answer– who am I? Although appearing to be fairly abstract at first, I knew that it had an answer, and was determined to locate it. I did not know how to begin my quest, for I knew I had a undertaken a staggering task- in my time of relaxation- nevertheless, plodding slowly deep into myself, I realized that the question was brought up to the surface simply due to a lack of self-confidence. I had considered myself below par for too long now. Always finding voids in my life, never looking at the many points of superiority that were contained within me- restrained- because I had lacked the common sense to explore my virtues. Always thinking that I could not live up to the expectations of my peers. Always behaving like the lesser person. Always looking for a purpose in life, when there was really no need to. I have always looked at what I have achieved, and found it to be dwarfed-out by what others had achieved. Not looking at the quality of my work, not at what I could have achieved, not what I am built for. In fact, my views of myself fell just short of pity. Though not completely, I have regained some hope. I was not meant to be a face in the crowd, but my negativity drew me into being one. I am not small, I think small, something that could be easily rectified. Coming back to the question, I realized that I may not need an answer at all. Though purpose-defeating, this was truly the equivalent of enlightenment.

Thursday, January 18, 2007

Mission: Nanozilla™ - Part Three

I met Lucy on my way out. She smiled that beautiful smile that cleared all my worries for the next few hours. She was a new recruit. This was her first mission. She seemed nervous at first, but heck, she was a girl-it was understandable. But despite that fact, having made to the team was definitely a commendable feat. She was in the Chemical Warfare Department. She told me that Luke was in search of the stolen money. She had disabled all of Hacker’s minions in the building with our proprietary SLoW gas- short for Sleeping, Laughing and Weeping gas (perhaps their next component would be NOS and then they would call it… let me guess- SLoW NOSe).

But Hacker had a separate chamber. He was unaffected by the gas and was taking a nap. That hog. Now was the time to get him. I gave Lucy my stun gun and lowered her into his chamber using a rope. But I was jolted by a sudden loud noise- the security alarm. Luke probably dropped the stylus of the PDA- my PDA, triggering off the alarm. What a klutz. We had to wrap up our work soon. Hacker woke up, much to the surprise of poor Lucy. He tried to release the naobots, but I had initiated the self-destruct sequence. We did not have much time left. I had to react fast. I triggered an explosion at the power generator using my Grenade Launcher, switched on my night-vision goggles, and in the darkness, glided downwards to where Lucy was and knocked Hacker out with my Micro Uzi. That was certainly going to leave a dent on it. I checked on the others. Luke had the money with him now. Rudolf had our aircraft ready. We took our fugitive in and we moved out of the place- not a moment too soon- the shards of the Prism flew skywards the instant we took off the land. The nanobots were blown to smithereens. We called the cops- Hacker was arrested. We were given the next week off.

As for Lucy, she appeared to be quite impressed, for there were feet flailing and tongues rolling for the rest of the night.

Mission: Nanozilla™ - Part Two

It may require some explanation as to why I had a transceiver chip in the first place, and secondly, why I would risk getting killed mercilessly. The reason is that I am Chris, SDD (Sophisticated Device Development) Branch of the Intelligence Department of Erasier(don’t ask). We are a team dedicated to terror prevention, and we like to make the world a better place… nah, it’s just for the cash, that’s just our motto (I still think “We put the ‘D’ in Duh” would have been better). I did not like to have my devices handled by others, so I did the work personally. We had to maintain a low profile among civilians (which is like impossible when there are lots of babes around), we moved out in our private helicopter. I checked my laptop, and the tracker pointed eastwards, apparently he was making his way to the Prism- a natural structure made of gigantic ice shards.

We entered the place and asked Rudolf to monitor the entrance and also warn us of any other possible threats. He had a pair of the most amazing eyes, earning him the place of Forensic Inspector. Hacker’s hideout was and amazing piece of architecture, but I hadn’t much time to ponder upon that thought further. The place was intricately developed, and we had to split up to improve our chances of success. I handed Luke my PDA, disinclined, but knew that it would only help precipitate our scouting. I still had my trusty coder watch- that was all I required. I located a vent and went in (pun unintended), knowing that I was the only one small enough to fit in. The chamber predictably led me to the nanite storage chamber. I flipped open my watch. It took my programming knowledge about twenty seconds to bring the nanobots under my control, and I also disabled all the security cameras. I now had to check on the progress of my teammates.
to be continued

Mission: Nanozilla™ - Part One

There was a gunshot. All eyes turned to that direction. He wanted money, and did not mind killing off a few useless people to achieve his goal… just to lighten up the mood a little. He had ‘obtained’ the blueprints for one of the most anticipated advancements in the field of science and technology- nanites. Nanites, or nanobots, as they are commonly known, are robots of the height of one billionth of a metre. Pretty cute, but deadly in the wrong hands. Being virtually invisible, they could be used to perform tasks with little or no detectability. Apparently his motive was to… yeah, yeah… take over the world. Terrorism still is the quickest way to mint money. At least that’s what our friend James ‘Hacker’ thought.

So he took hostage at the Glass Sphere- the prime location for the rich and affluent ‘enthusiasts’ who… took time off their busy schedules to be there, just for the heck of it. The entire process was pretty much routine and textbook-style- he barged in, took hostage, threatened to kill, and gained instant fame as the world watched live what his demands were on television. He wanted (for some reason) two billion dollars. As the police negotiations failed, the Centre had no option but to hand over the money. In minutes, a large briefcase with crisp notes was brought in, and Hacker had it counted by his sidekick Jude. As he was about to leave, I attached a transceiver chip onto the money. My job was done… for now.
to be continued

Thursday, January 11, 2007

Just Do It

Its way to redundant now.

Planning to do this or planning to complete that, and then delving into the illusion of failure on being unable to complete what you had thought would work out just fine. And then, the ray of hope that it isn't too late, the next day is just as good to start what you had aimed to do, only one day is lost. Its not like your life depended on those meagre 24 hours. And repeating the whole process all over again.

The secret to success is simple. When you decide to do something, instead of all the planning and hoping and cribbing and regret... just do it. Don't rely on the future to help you out. The time you have right now... utilize it. You may regret not having done more than what you have done, but something is better than nothing. The moment you decide to do something, sit and work, forgetting about the outcome or benefits, but living as if your life depended on it. But in any scenario, don't give up. Your delayed action may cost you, but it will be a million times more worthwhile than just giving up on it altogether in disappointment.

Saturday, January 6, 2007

A Cut Above The Rest

One of the more frustrating events in the life of a male is the dreaded haircut. In the hands of the barber lie the fate of your helpless hair. Grown with utmost care and nurtured for weeks, with the most expensive hair care products and with nothing less than genuine,true love... but shredded mercilessly in minutes- using power saws and giant cleavers and what not. The end result? Levelled plains... Scorched deserts... and Barrens. So you thought we have options like the Tom Cruise look or even the David Beckham look or the (foolish) MS Dhoni look... but what do we get? The moron look, the retarded look and the lobotomy patient look. Makes it almost a burden to have hair.

*Snip*, *snip*, *snip* ... and voila! Your new 'look' is ready... which you must live with for what seems like years, and the day they seem to have grown back.... you are forced to have another haircut. In the interim, he decides whether your hair ends up looking like its been taken out by a weed eater, or mowed down by a lawn mower, or grazed upon by cattle with broken teeth.

And what's worse - I have to pay him for it, too.

Monday, January 1, 2007



It happens to be my birthday today. And what better way to celebrate than... write a 6-hour test! So I was looking forward to it (I'm serious)... and among the usual phone calls from friends and relatives wishing me (that started at midnight), I got a call from Nikith at around 11.00,

"Hello, Happy Birthday and Happy New Year!"
"Thank you, and Happy New Year to you too."
"And what is the reason for your absence?"
"Absence? What... the test is at 12.30, right?"
"No, it was at 8.00 today. I wanted to tell you, but I thought you'd know"

And what followed was a tragic turn of events that, as always, gracefully marked my birthday as the most unusual day of my life.

What a way to start off the year.