Wednesday, November 29, 2006


I find it hard to keep track of time. One moment you feel like you have all the time in your life, and the next involves constant switching between nervousness, anxiety and tension. Case in point being the last two years of my life. When I got my ICSE results (class 10), eternity stood before me. There was a 3 month vacation to choose your college, and a 24 month wait before I wrote my 12th boards. Everyday at school, I counted the seconds to the end of the minute, the minutes to the end of the hour, the hours to the end of the day, and the days to the end of the month. But the moment a few months passed, I thought, "Where has the time gone ?", and lunged into despair mode, and a conversation in my mind followed, after which I decided to manage time better, and re-focus, only to revert in less than a week.

When class 12 arrived, I knew I had to be serious... but I carried on as usual, until I got my monthly test report ( I had joined an IIT coaching institute called BASE). I knew I could do better, but it was the same me everyday. Now I face my class 12 pre-pre-boards, and there are 3 months left for the JEE exam (known to be the toughest in the world, I don't know how I convinced myself to give it a shot). 21 months have passed. My accomplishments : none... zero...nil...zilch...this makes me feel terrible. Only time will tell if I do improve. Hopefully, I will. But one can't ever be too sure, at least not when you haven't made even the least significant of attempts to guarantee a better tomorrow.

I have nowhere to look up to, except my inner temple.


  1. That's being a tad philosophical and way too pessimistic...what toughest exam in the world??? Are you senile ? It's just another exam given by lakhs of students...
    Just because of the competition, u feel bogged down...
    If u are confident the competition shouldn't actually bother u...because U ARE NOT a face in the crowd.

  2. its not the competiton, dude...
    i'm really low on self confidence and motivation, hence the down-in-the-dumps tone.

    thanks for the faith you have in me... but i am not your everyday-hard-working-student ...i dont work at all.. but i will not disappoint you,or anyone else.. i have a point to prove