Communication (s)Kills

I recently realised that communicating your ideas to others is harder than it looks (er..allow me to rephrase that). Because it is a dying art that tends to be under-estimated I suck at it. It wasn't like some sudden big flash, though. In fact, this realization actually happened in parts. It all started with...

Sentence formation

Someone on the road randomly asked me what the 3 areas I'm most weak at, were. (Hmm..that doesn't sound right)

Someone on the road randomly asked me what were the 3 areas I'm most weak in. (No)

Someone, randomly, on the road, asked me if I could list areas of my weakness, choosing the top 3. (Dude?)

Someone on the road asked me why I was in the top 3 weaklings every week. (Really? Wtf?!)

The moment I wrote the first among those sentences, I wondered - "Did I frame that sentence correctly?". The answer was a much debatable no. As you can see, it took me many attempts to realise what I was doing wrong. Know what it is? That's right-- indirect speech. Indirect speech always makes the sentence complicated to understand, said I. (Oh, crap. That was passive voice Passive voice, that was) But anyway, you got the point I was making, right?

Consider its direct counter-part, direct speech (Omg a pun). I'd suggest always preferring this. It's much simpler to comprehend. Consider the same sentence in direct speech--

Someone on the road: "Wazza?"
(Direct speech pwns indirect speech)

Much better. As I sauntered across the streets all puffed up by my new found secret to idea conveying-ness, something happened. Something I wasn't prepared for. Something that made me so conscious of what I said, that I lost control over my...

Brain-to-mouth Filter

Often, you'll find yourself in a situation wherein you need to weigh your words before letting them out. In other words, you need to make wise use of your so called brain-mouth filter. Consider incidents wherein what you were about to say and what you actually said were completely different things, and eventually ended up landing you into trouble. More often than not, what happens is that while you're considering what to say, the listener has nothing to do but to stare at your blank face. And he/she perceives you to some sort of an advanced species of moron. Case in point?

Exhibit A:

(Friend on the street, surprised to see me approaching college from the side opposite the usual one)
"Hi! How come this side?"

(Me)
"Well, actually I was late and was running so fast that I overshot the main gate, and by the time I could slow down, I had already travelled an extra 200 meters, and now I'm going back" (No, dude, say something more feasible. Anything. Atleast she won't think you're some weirdo)

"Um. Just buying some..stuff.." (No. Too vague. Be a little more precise)

"0.6"

(Friend)
"Oh, ok then... (Weirdo)"

So I decided to just go with the flow. Apparently, Unrestrained talk + Negative IQ = Bad combination. Who knew? In short, I realised that sometimes, the opposite happens. You need to be able to back up whatever rubbish you utter, just in case. Coz some people can give you a run for your money. I present to you:

Exhibit B:

(Bro)
"Hey! That neon lamp is so cool"

(Me)
"Yeah. It actually works on a super-collider nano particle technology. They use the negative free energy of plasma-neurotic electrons to achieve nearly five times the amplification of light intensity"

(Bro)
"But then it would consume about 1000 watts of power, right? Considering the bipolar nature of the mid-west region..."

At this juncture, it is wise to just shut up, as the listener has clearly shown that he can match you in intellectual bullshit. But, nooo. You have to try to go one up and dig your own grave, don't you?

(Me, ideally)
"Yeah, I thought you wouldn't realise"

(Me, actually)
"No, dude. It actually uses the quasi-inter-stellar rays from dwarf stars and black holes. So in the alternate dimension, it would consume only about 0.3 kilo joules per nano second"

(Bro)
"But that's actually more, right?"

(Me)
"Er.."

This was too much. So I resigned myself to failure. (Does that even make sense?) Anyways, I quickly realised that what I was doing wrong was choosing the wrong medium for communication. Face-to-face? Not for me. Text-based? Now, there's a thought.

Enter, Text messaging.
[Text messaging enters]

Text message - m here..ssup! hwz thngz n al (w8..iz dis my lyn?)
Me - Dude, I can't understand you at all.

Txt - its k..cuz ul gt used 2 it..
Me - Eh? I don't want to learn a new language. And how am I supposed to know if 'bt' means bat, bet, bit, bot or but?

Txt - z..u wnt t old englsh lang? thr s sme thng cald dxnry..
Me - There is? Oh this is pretty cool. It can even predict what I want to say! Neat!

Text - Does this dress make me look fat?
[Curtain falls]

So, apparently, some guy was nice enough to solve two problems at once -- illegible text and poor speed. Nifty, I thought. But this joy was also short lived, as I soon came to know about the perils of using the predictive text mode. Or, what I like to call...

T-Pain


T-Pain, short for T9 Pain, is what you get when you grow accustomed to the T9 mode, and slowly realise its many quirks. There's a reason it's called Predictive Text, and not Text Prediction. It only works about forty percent of the time. The other sixty could either annoy you to death, or send the reader into coma, or both, depending on who reads the message first. Although most of the time the message is garbled rubbish, some words could alter the meaning drastically.

(Original)
There's nothing more I want. I have you...

(T9 version)
There's noughog nope I want. I hate you...

The news will tell you that most breakups happen via text messages. What the news won't tell you is why. Now you know. But that was just a tame example. Sometimes, even the phrase 'unforeseen consequences' seems to merely pale in comparison.

(Original)
Hey..what's up? :)

(T9 version)
*Censored*

See? Told ya. So what next? Logically, I thought that I ought to take advantage of the medium a little. Think. Proof-read. Don't jump the gun, look before you leap types. So I plan, cross-discuss, weigh the pros against the cons, and only then send a message. That was until the day of..

The Delayed Compliment

[At 11 am]
(To self)
Hey, she's wearing a nice top. Maybe I should let her know. Girls like compliments. Er..it might be pretty awkward though. Ok, let's chuck the idea.

[At 3 pm]
Maybe I should tell her. What's the worst thing that could happen? Hmm..then again, even if I don't, what's the worst thing that could happen? Atleast I can avoid an awkward moment. Best to steer clear.

[At 9 pm]
Oh, what the heck. I'll just text her.

[Message delivered at 1 am]
hey...nice top :) :)

[Reply at 1:01]
er..i'm not wearing one (Weirdo)

Just great. Now I had a few seconds to think of a good recovery line. Anything to ameliorate the situation. But I really suck at those. All my previous attempts have been sorely disastrous. And that's an understatement. That's when I stumbled upon..

The Funny Joke

Yes, not just any joke. A funny joke. The explicit use of the adjective emphasizes that you can't just say anything and pass it off as a wisecrack. Free messages have spawned millions of horrid 'forwards'. Ranging from lame to downright annoying. Some of them come with much fanfare, but always have a standard closing section. A typical 'joke' would read like this:

JoKe Of ThE YeAr!! (Opening section)
.         (Formatting)
.
.
.
Man before interview : "May I come in, sir?"          (The "joke")

Interviewer : "Wait, plz"

Man : "75 kg, sir!"
.
.
.
.                (More formatting, so that it looks like the best part is yet to come)
Gud nit! :P                 (Standard conclusion)

So with everyone's head muddled by things like that, it's really hard to come up with a genuinely good joke. And if you're under pressure? Well, God save you. But here's a helpful hint - Do NOT try to get inspired by them. EVER. The best you could probably come up with would be something like:

[Reply at 1:03]

lolz j/k
.
.
me 2..v shd ttly hng out 2gthr..w8..nt hng out as in hng out 2 dry..cuz thts whr i hng my clths..cz m nt wearng thm ryt nw..i bt u do tht 2..dnt u?
.
ps-w8 as in wait..nt weight..coz tht wud b 75..nd ttly lyk nt mk ny snse..ryt? lol
.
.
.
.
.
gud n8 :P

(Holy %@#&)

I'd say that there is simply no good way to communicate, more or less. (Hmm..that doesn't sound right)

There's probably no good way to communicate, I'd guess. (No)

I'd surmise, more or less, that an effective way of communication is unfounded, as of the present scenario. (Dude?)

I'm surprised that more is effectively less, for I have found in many a contemplation -D' Adairo. (Really? Wtf?!)

I rest my case.

Transcendence

Listening to music.
Earphones plugged in.
Walking on the road.
Cool breeze blowing across my face.

The whole world going in one direction.
And me in the other.

I just love this feeling :)

Dreams

Just woke up from a dream.

Life has a peculiar way of telling things. You never know what’s waiting around the corner. When everything seems to be against you, when all seems lost, the happiest-moment-of-your-life happens. It surprises you right when you least expect it. That’s life.

It is important to realize that the good and the bad go hand in hand. For it is impossible to appreciate that which is good, if you have no clue what its like to manage living with difficulties.

Sometimes we fail to notice the small things in life. The things that we take for granted. But how often do we pause to think of the people who make it possible, and the sacrifices they make for us? Friends, siblings, parents – people who make an impact in nearly all aspects of our lives, slowly turning into an integral part of it, yet remaining largely unnoticed.

Reflecting on this greatly increased my respect for them. And I stopped looking at the bad- the times when they hurt me(but didn’t mean to), and started to look at all that they do for me, without expecting anything in return. And I’ll never understand how they can put others’ happiness before their own.

Just woke up from a dream.

And then it hit me.

Traces of Desire

"Thanks a lot”, she said.

"You’re welcome”, I replied.

And that smile told me something I had never realized before- she knew me much better than I thought she ever would.

Who Am I ?

A quest in search of life’s true meaning

Plunging into my thoughts again, I meditated over one of the many unanswered questions within me, seeking to move closer to the answer– who am I? Although appearing to be fairly abstract at first, I knew that it had an answer, and was determined to locate it. I did not know how to begin my quest, for I knew I had a undertaken a staggering task- in my time of relaxation- nevertheless, plodding slowly deep into myself, I realized that the question was brought up to the surface simply due to a lack of self-confidence. I had considered myself below par for too long now. Always finding voids in my life, never looking at the many points of superiority that were contained within me- restrained- because I had lacked the common sense to explore my virtues. Always thinking that I could not live up to the expectations of my peers. Always behaving like the lesser person. Always looking for a purpose in life, when there was really no need to. I have always looked at what I have achieved, and found it to be dwarfed-out by what others had achieved. Not looking at the quality of my work, not at what I could have achieved, not what I am built for. In fact, my views of myself fell just short of pity. Though not completely, I have regained some hope. I was not meant to be a face in the crowd, but my negativity drew me into being one. I am not small, I think small, something that could be easily rectified. Coming back to the question, I realized that I may not need an answer at all. Though purpose-defeating, this was truly the equivalent of enlightenment.

Disaster

- HAPPY NEW YEAR -

It happens to be my birthday today. And what better way to celebrate than... write a 6-hour test! So I was looking forward to it (I'm serious)... and among the usual phone calls from friends and relatives wishing me (that started at midnight), I got a call from Nikith at around 11.00,

"Hello, Happy Birthday and Happy New Year!"
"Thank you, and Happy New Year to you too."
"And what is the reason for your absence?"
"Absence? What... the test is at 12.30, right?"
"No, it was at 8.00 today. I wanted to tell you, but I thought you'd know"
...

And what followed was a tragic turn of events that, as always, gracefully marked my birthday as the most unusual day of my life.

What a way to start off the year.

2006 : Looking Back

Three hundred and sixty five days - gone. Many of us may be disappointed at not having accomplished this or not having completed that, but very few would actually be satisfied with what they have achieved over the past year. Try it yourself. But actually, it just depends on your outlook. If you strive hard to recall what you have achieved (pessimistically), you may find none, but if you simply wade through the past year, you will realise that it was not so bad after all, in fact, it was just as bad as any other year. (I am being as positive as possible). You can still continue to pursue your goals in the next year... its not like a whole chunk of your available time has gone forever. (Okay, it has, but we're trying to be positive here).

Anyway, this year brought with it many oppurtunities of enjoying time, and the usual joy and sorrow, but above all, this year was the most different of all. Look at it this way... today and tomorrow are both like any other day, and don't put a label of 'Last Day of the Year' or anything. The resolutions may be made or broken, it doesn't matter. Just move ahead, and enjoy life as usual... while you still can.

(To understand better what I wanted to say, read 'Looking Ahead' by Golden Glaciers here)

Unconventional

Most of us try and bring into our lives new ideas and habits through the process of imitation. If something is noteworthy, we get inspired to emulate. The problem with such an approach is that it kills creativity dead. It is also very difficult to introduce originality, because we are so used to seeing the same routine that something new is hard to accept, and may even seem ridiculous at first. Its something like inertia. We tend to refuse to believe the benefits of staying out from the crowd. If you like something, do something similar, but don't blindly copy it. The idea is to take something that you like, and slowly modified to create something that is completely different from what you started with. For example, Dilbert is actually a copy of Peanuts. So go ahead, be different, and carve a niche for yourself.

You will be more happy with what you end up with than anyone else.

Graduation

I never saw this day coming.

Not when I joined school.. not today... not until now. I did not realise that I was going to have to leave school... forever. I did not realise that I would be leaving my friends, who I am so close to. Perhaps I have clung on to this place too tightly... nonetheless I have a deep sentimental attachment to it. Who wouldn't ? The school that I have been in for 12 years. I do owe a lot to this school. It has given me what any student could wish for from a school. The place where I grew, learned, played, fell, rejoiced, contemplated, and maybe even cried. This has been too short a school life. The last two years, especially, have whizzed by. I do not know what will happen next... I have never been adept at preparing for the future. Whatever happens, I do hope that I do not lose touch with my friends. Those that have built me, without even realising it. I will surely miss them.

I hope there is no tomorrow.

to be continued

Time

I find it hard to keep track of time. One moment you feel like you have all the time in your life, and the next involves constant switching between nervousness, anxiety and tension. Case in point being the last two years of my life. When I got my ICSE results (class 10), eternity stood before me. There was a 3 month vacation to choose your college, and a 24 month wait before I wrote my 12th boards. Everyday at school, I counted the seconds to the end of the minute, the minutes to the end of the hour, the hours to the end of the day, and the days to the end of the month. But the moment a few months passed, I thought, "Where has the time gone ?", and lunged into despair mode, and a conversation in my mind followed, after which I decided to manage time better, and re-focus, only to revert in less than a week.

When class 12 arrived, I knew I had to be serious... but I carried on as usual, until I got my monthly test report ( I had joined an IIT coaching institute called BASE). I knew I could do better, but it was the same me everyday. Now I face my class 12 pre-pre-boards, and there are 3 months left for the JEE exam (known to be the toughest in the world, I don't know how I convinced myself to give it a shot). 21 months have passed. My accomplishments : none... zero...nil...zilch...this makes me feel terrible. Only time will tell if I do improve. Hopefully, I will. But one can't ever be too sure, at least not when you haven't made even the least significant of attempts to guarantee a better tomorrow.

I have nowhere to look up to, except my inner temple.